


Poking the Beast (In the Name of Science!)

by BuddyTheMeanPeacock



Series: Drabbles and Oneshots (DimiClaude) [20]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Claude only mentioned, Gen, M/M, Post-Timeskip | War Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Yuri unappreciative of his pals messing with Dimitri lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-25
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:36:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25498471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BuddyTheMeanPeacock/pseuds/BuddyTheMeanPeacock
Summary: Yuri confronts two of his friends on some naughty things they have been up to.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Claude von Riegan
Series: Drabbles and Oneshots (DimiClaude) [20]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1561504
Comments: 6
Kudos: 98





	Poking the Beast (In the Name of Science!)

“Alright,” Yuri starts, crossing his arms and levying a look towards Balthus and Constance that held nothing but annoyance, “now that I’ve finished pulling you two out of trouble, maybe you can explain to me what the hell happened.”

"We were simply conducting ever important research!" 

"Yeah, no point in gettin' twisted. Nothin' even happened!"

"Ah, yes, _nothing._ _Nothing_ sure makes one hell of a racket nowadays.

Constance gave a nervous chuckle, nothing like her usual guffaw. "Why dear Yuri, whatever do you mean?"

Honestly. "Well, _dear Constance_ , you may have missed it but there was just this _terrible_ noise. It scared the daylights out of the Abyss residents _and_ , and you might not believe me, it was heard _on the surface!_ Now, good samaritans such as yourselves, who would never hide such a terrifying event from the masses above and below, would _never_ lie or shirk away from whatever did this, right?” Before the two could answer he continued. “Right! Now, tell me what you did, and maybe I’ll think about not telling anyone that you two definitely did something.”

Constance huffed at his words while Balthus laughed. “Damn, he was that loud? Thought I was just imagining my ears ringin’!”

“ _He_? So there’s a third person involved in this stunt?” Yuri rubbed his eyes.

“Yes, indeed!” Constance’s gusto comes back only to retreat again, though only a little bit. “Even if he, perhaps, may not have quite known the extent of his assistance in our quest for research.”

“Uh huh,” Yuri sighs, “Who ‘helped’ you and what were you doing?”

“You know the gates, yeah?” Balthus says, jabbing a thumb behind him. “Remember when me and that Dimitri prince tried to force ‘em open and failed?”

Yuri’s eyes widened. “Please shut up. I don’t wanna know more.”

“Too late! You asked for it,” the neanderthal laughed, ape that he was, _please don’t say what I think you’re gonna say-_ “Me and Constance here were thinking if the years that flew by the guy were enough for him to open them up now, just to see if he could.”

“ _Not_ ‘just to see’ if he could, mind you!” Constance corrected, eyes furrowed at the apparently bad explanation. “The Crest of Blaiddyd is one of incomparable strength, a power beholden to the wielder unlike that which is seen in nearly any other! When His Highness had tried to open the gates in the past, yes, his life and those around him were in great peril, but he was but a teen! It simply must be known whether half a decade has given to him even greater strength than that which we knew before!”

"So. Just to see if he could?”

Constance pouted.

Yuri rubbed his temples. “So, you mean to tell me that you wanted to see if the man who has just, _just_ , gotten over wanting to rip people’s eyes from their skulls could be goaded into breaking an important defense mechanism for those in the Abyss? Did I hear that right? Please tell me no.”

The way Constance looked away and Balthus rubbed his neck told that yes, this was real. Yuri was going to start losing hairs.

“Well. Don’t just stand there looking guilty, even though you absolutely should feel guilty,” he says to them, drawing their attention. “Take me to where it happened. I’m simply _dying_ to see the results of this.” Except he really, _really_ wasn't.

The two spared a glance at each other before turning and leading Yuri to the scene, and when they got there. 

Well. 

Mmm.

The gate was broken.

Yuri stared, slack jawed, at the broken bars. They _bursted_ outwards, whatever they were trying to hold in obviously succeeding in breaking free. Ginormous, emotionless machines whose sole reason for existing was to chase down whoever stole what it was protecting, capable of crushing all of them in one swoop given the chance, and even _they_ couldn’t get past these gates, that’s how hardy they were.

But Dimitri broke them.

Because of something these two did.

“Well, would ya look at that, he actually got through!”

“What an incredible discovery!"

“What… the _hell_ … did you two do?”

Constance had the nerve to be smug at his surprise. “My, aren’t we interested? Frankly, it was an act of genius on my part, though, perhaps, a tad more underhanded than I would have liked.”

“Underhanded, you say? And you didn’t invite me?” Yuri put a hand to his chest, putting on a show. “How cruel of you! Tell me what you did.”

“You know how the prince guy’s got it bad for good ol’ Claude?” Balthus says with a smirk, apparently having fun with poking at Dimitri - at least, when it’s not to his face.

Who knows, maybe he does it there too.

Yuri nodded.

“Well, we simply used that to our advantage dear Yuri!”

“Now there’s _four_ of you involved in this?”

Balthus laughed. “Kinda.”

“ _Kinda?_ ”

“We have kept a keen eye on His Highness, you see,” Constance provides, “and we have found the most enlightening information! You see, we have witnessed the lovely professor gift unto him an armored bear stuffy - oh, the despair on his face! If only you were to bear witness yourself!”

“Uhhh huh,” Yuri drones, impatient. “And in his rage in receiving such a horrendous gift he stomped down here and broke the gate from the inside?”

“Hush, you! Allow me to finish!”

“Well, get on with it then.”

“You interrupted me, and ever so rudely-”

“Dimitri didn’t know nothin’ about the stuffed toys of all of us goin’ around,” Balthus cuts in.

“Ah! Right, that is quite true!” Constance starts again, regaining her zeal. “That includes the admirably well done stuffy of one Claude von Riegan - who fetched quite the pretty coin, I hope you know.”

Yuri would _normally_ laugh at the image of the Alliance leader’s face when he found out about _that_ ; as much as that man wants to be left alone? And he has _toys_ about him now? Absolutely hilarious.

But.

He stared _deep_ into the eyes of the two in front of him. “Constance. Balthus. No more backstory. Tell me, _exactly_ , what happened.”

And they did.

_To be quite honest with herself, Constance never thought that one man could possibly hold as much anger and rage inside of his mortal coil as much as His Highness Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd did in this moment. Especially when accounting for the cordial manner he held himself in not moments before, ever polite and well-meaning._

_He banged his armored fists against the gates, the bars holding strong but letting out the most screeching noise she has ever heard, reverberating throughout the room and her ears. She has stood before many a demonic beast, and their hellish bellows were simply nothing compared to the absolute_ **_force_ ** _that was the sound that came from the gates as they were abused again and again._

_Only Dimitri himself held a candle to the sound._

_“ **I**_ **_WILL SLAUGHTER YOU! YOU WILL BE NOTHING BUT ANOTHER STAIN ON THE FLOOR! NOTHING OF YOU WILL BE LEFT!”_ **

_She swallowed. Perhaps this wasn’t the brightest of her brilliant ideas. But she was nothing if not persistent; she held the small flame closer to the admittedly adorable plushie of Claude. His tiny antlers and tiny hooved feet ingeniously combined the man’s natural looks with that of the animal that represents him. It was… quite evident, Dimitri also liked the toy._

_“My, but you are th-there, and I am here!” Constance goads, cursing her stutter but proud she managed anything at all. Balthus stood by her, arms crossed and quite smug; why, she could almost believe he wasn’t rattled at all, if not for the ever so slight twitch of the man’s smirked lips._

_“What, too weak to get through a couple ‘a bars?” He sighed, and even she had to hold back from slapping the full-of-himself breath back into his mouth. “Well, ya can’t want it that badly then, and we don’t want it, sooo…” he turned to her, away from His Highness. She dare not do so, and so did not miss the snarl on the prince’s lips grow even more animalistic; she could swear his teeth were sharper than a man’s had any right to be. “You know what to do.”_

_“A shame, truly,” she says, and brought the flame eeever so close, the fire nearly touching-_

_Dimitri roared._

_They both jumped. There was no other word for it, too primal to be something a human could ever hope to do. A brilliant silver-blue light lit up behind the prince, the star-shaped Crest of Blaiddyd so bright in the darkened halls as to nearly blind her. He banged his hands against the bars again, and again, and again, never letting up on his own howls as the cacophonous melody ruptured the air around them._

_And then a new sound joined the fray._

_The distinct, noticeable sound of bent metal._

_She froze. Balthus jumped. His Highness didn’t stop, perhaps too maddened to even register the progress he is making, too engulfed in his mission he was._

_She pondered, for a very, very short moment, whether to stay. See for herself the Blaiddyd break free. But the continually new sounds of metal bending in different ways and the unending howls of the prince quickly swayed her otherwise._

_She dropped the stuffy on the ground and fled, Balthus by her side._

  
  


Yuri was tired.

“But why?” he asked, too drained to do just about anything else. “What reason could you _possibly_ have?”

“It is as I told you before, dear Yuri, it was part of the ever present pursuit of knowledge!”

Yuri slid his eyes over to Balthus. “And you?”

“Wanted to see how strong the guy was! Always good to suss out the competition, ya know?”

He let the… _brilliant_ answers before him sit for a moment, giving his head a short break from the nonsense he’s just heard and witnessed.

He finally turned his back to them and started to leave.

“Ah, please wait, dear Yuri… you have yet to levy your punishment for our misdeeds,” Constance says, a nervous levity in her voice.

“Yeah, what gives? No way you’re letting us off easy,” Balthus agrees, more confident but still worried.

Yuri chuckled. “I don’t know what you mean! No harm done, right? Just a silly gate.”

“Oh c’mon, don’t be smarmy!”

“Yes! You will give us our due!”

“My, aren’t you two feisty? Don’t worry your pretty little heads off; I’m not going to do anything.”

Yet.

It’ll come, oh _boy_ is it going to come. But he can let them stew and beg about when it will, or what it’ll be, for a little while. It’s the least he can do.

He hopes Dimitri is enjoying that stuffy.

**Author's Note:**

> Cut to Dimitri diligently washing the dirt off of the Claude plushie before sneaking it to his room and keeping it safe :3c
> 
> Another kinda birthday gift to Claude, this time with Dimitri breaking through the impenetrable Abyss gates to keep a plushie of Claude safe from harm lmaooo
> 
> Constance: But Yuri, are you not curious about the incredible way we convinces His Highness to go behind the gates-  
> Yuri: If you know what's good for you Constance you'll stop talking


End file.
